If you're at all sensitive to the world's political and societal shifts and changes, then this year feels like a year to grieve.

I learned about intense grief right at the start of the year with the passing of my father who died from a brain cancer that took him in 7 weeks. I'm one of the luckiest people in the world to have the father I had, and to have had the relationship I had with him, but it changed my life entirely while leaving this giant empty space in it.

From the beginning of this year, I knew I wasn't and wouldn't be the only person feeling the grief. The political turmoil that we're witnessing comes with a heavy sense of grief. I initially thought that I could speak more openly about grief and how to deal with it, but I actually needed to stay quiet.

From that need, I quit social media. It started with me getting off social media for 40 days, and when that time period passed, I ended up quitting for this year. I deleted my Facebook entirely, deactivated my Instagram, and leaned into working more on this website for next year.

By eliminating the noise of social media, I returned to my creativity through writing, searching for inspiration, and finding a new direction with my jewelry. I don't have enough time yet as I'm still in the thick of taking on my father's business but I'm slowly working on pieces and examples to present to my email subscribers. The idea and goal is to offer customs in the future and to create a variety of examples as a reference point for those custom offerings.

I also saw the drastic rise of precious metals prices this year. Both silver and gold hit highs that made me rethink my whole business moving forward. Since 2016, when I started this business, there has been one political situation after another that has forced me to reevaluate, reposition, rebrand myself with the jewelry. The truth though is that when there are times of uncertainty, the prices of precious metals goes up. This year the prices nearly tripled over the course of the year.

Instead of looking at this as a setback, I looked at other materials and techniques for inspiration. It felt like an act of rebellion to push back on these government-imposed prices, and lean more into the art. I started thinking about how I could dig deeper and transform this grief into mourning jewelry.

When someone passes, it's inevitable that we look through their belongings to hold on to something small for ourselves as a way of carrying their essense with us. It triggered a thought in me about what we value when we lose someone. My father was frugal and a minimalist, and he left behind nothing but dirt. Literally. He worked with his hands all his life, specifically with adobe mud blocks to build custom homes.

Suddenly this became the thing that represented him and I began to use adobe dirt from the bricks he'd leave around our property to incorporate into some of the mourning jewelry pieces I was making for myself. This inspired me to use strands of his hair and ashes in other works. Then I found myself picking through his papers and scribblings and suddenly these common things held so much value to me because that's all I have physically left of him.

Making jewelry for me is the closest I've come to experiencing something spiritual. I read recently about how mourning will feel like a series of spiritual awakenings, and finding a new direction with jewelry does feel that way. It would not have happened had I not felt this intense, traumatic grief. While I will always carry the sadness of losing my father, I know that to move forward, I have to accept too that my work will change and will bring joy again.

It's a bittersweet feeling as I head into the new year. I lost someone I loved more than anything, and yet I found a purpose: to become a vessel to create works that honor and remember. Through all of this, I finally found what I want to do. My jewelry and path with it, has felt like a quest all these years, and I feel like I'm finally coming home. I discovered what I want to do. It hurts and I'm sad, but I'm here and a new chapter is about to unfold.

Over the course of next year, I will share with you what I've been working on. I want to remain off social media for as long as it feels right, and instead present everything to you on my website through my Fresh Off the Bench page, on the Blog, and through the newsletter. This will be a huge change from what I've done in the past, but I know radical change is the only way to become truer to myself and to create my best works.

Thank you so much for sticking around this year, and I hope to connect deeply with you in 2026 and beyond. Now is a time to mourn, and to honor and to embrace and create meaning in our lives.

Thank you so much for reading, and Happy New Year.

Take care for now,

Caitlin